With a humorous, informal style, Guy delivers useful tips, insights and new perspectives against a backdrop of personal anecdotes, drawn from his 30 year career as a horticulturalist, plantsman and garden designer.

Flat fee £100

“Excellent and humorous” Ferring Horticultural Society.

“Thankyou for an entertaining evening”. Southfleet Gardener’s Society

“Certainly an interesting talk!” Sutton Valence Gardeners Association.

“Very informative.” Horsham Horticultural Society


  1. How to commit the perfect murder (and how to put the body to use in the garden afterwards).

    You’ve committed the perfect murder, but how can you put the body to good use in the garden? In this popular and amusing talk, Guy presents a new spin on feeding your soil to feed your garden, by inviting the audience to put themselves into the mind of a murderer.

  2. Using Sun Tzu in the Garden.

    In this light-hearted and informative talk, Guy takes the audience on a tactical campaign to rid your garden of stubborn pests and diseases, delivering practical insights using the strategies of great military tacticians.

  3. Lady Chatterley’s Gardener.  An illustrated walk through gardens of historical importance.

    In this visually engaging talk, Guy shares some fascinating stories from his career in gardening at houses of historical interest.  This talk is a visual treat for audiences who would like to explore some secret gardens or learn more about this country’s hidden historical gems.

  4. Schrodinger’s Garden. The psychology of gardens and gardening for wellness.

    In this topical and fascinating talk, audiences learn how our brains perceive gardens and how gardening and gardens can enhance our mental and physical wellbeing.  All set, remarkably, against the findings of Erwin Schrodinger’s “cat” experiment!  

  5. No sex please, we’re gardeners!  Getting our pollinators in the mood for love.

    Pollination is an essential part of plant reproduction and therefore our ecological survival, and we as the nation’s gardeners, can play a vital role.  In this lighthearted spin on an existential topic, Guy talks through the ecology of gardens, and how creating the right environment for our top pollinators, need not be at the expense of a beautiful garden.

  6. Carry on Gardening. 

    A fork through Guy’s collected anecdotes and amusing personal experiences during this 30 years as a gardener.

All 60 minutes, including Q&A.